When I woke up this morning I saw 209 on the scale! I was so excited because it's single digits to onederland now and my scary spike to 215 on Wednesday was obviously a hormonal thing. I just realized as I was sitting down to write my post that it also means I'm 70 Pounds down since surgery!!! Since this week will be 9 months since surgery it makes my average 7.7 pounds per month.
On the food front I have started eating more solid foods and it has helped my hunger, but I can't say if it's 100% the food because I have also have been really tight the last couple of days. I know that I'm not in need of a fill, because I couldn't tolerate being tighter than this. So I think I have to accept that I'm going to have days I'm a little hungrier and it's not the end of the world, I just need to eat if I'm hungry (not when I'm not) and let the band work.
We've a had a nice weekend - 45 degrees and saw the sun yesterday. I think I must echo the sentiments of several other bloggers in saying that I'm done with February.
We're going to New York later in the week to visit my husbands family. We haven't been up there since last year (pre-surgery), so in a way I'm kind of dreading it. I realize it will be a bit of a shock when they see me, but I just don't want to be bombarded with questions. No one on his side of the family knows about the surgery, I just don't want it to be a focus of every visit. Also, my sister - in - law's husband's Mom had Lap band maybe 3 or 4 years ago and she went a little crazy afterward. She had an affair and developed a prescription drug problem that she blamed basically on the weight loss. So they don't have a great view of it, I've also heard them talk about how she's always throwing up. Their only exposure to the band is from a woman who obviously isn't a great bandster.
Well, I'll go and have as much fun as I can. I just realized this morning I'll be 4 days without my scale!! Can I survive??
So I mentioned earlier that I had dinner with Kathi last night. She is totally upbeat and energetic (like her blog), it was so great. It's a little weird to meet a fellow blogger at first because there's that whole thing of feeling like you know them, but you don't really. It was great to chat about band stuff - it's amazing how it effects us all so differently. It was also nice to eat out with someone and not have them say "that's all you're eating?".
We did not think ahead enough to have someone else take our picture - so here's our self portrait. I think if we had taken the picture last year at this time there would have been like 120 more pounds in the picture!!
I've decided I'm going to start eating REAL food again. After my fill in early February I was tight and kind of migrated to kind of modified sliders (Zone bars, yogurt, crackers & cheese) for breakfast and lunch and have gotten in to this vicious cycle of eating but then being hungry again way too soon. I figure since I've loosened up a little I need to get back to the plan that helped me lose 67 pounds in the first place – why mess with success right?
I just said no to my peanut butter Zone bar this morning and made eggs – I was scared at first, but I ate slowly and they did OK. I'm going to monitor how changing my eating back to more solid protein affects my satiety levels. If I don't see a lot of change I may need another fill (but I haven't lost much since the last one so I'd be surprised if that was the case). Also I'm so close to the scary overfilled spot I was in December! I'll let everyone know how my experiment goes.
I'm also wondering how I've gone from 211 on Sunday to 215 this morning – WTF! I know I haven't eaten 14,000 EXTRA calories in three days. I don't eat 14,000 calories in a week. I know it's just water weight, but seriously. I can see 199, but it is moving away…
As I'm writing this a think I wrote the same thing last week, but I'm almost finished now – I'm sure most of you have dozed off anyway.
If you're still with me - on a happier note, I had a super cool blogger meet-up last night with Kathi! She's in Maryland for a training class and we met for a late dinner and girl talk. She looked awesome and it was so fun – I want to meet all of you now. I'll post more about our adventure and some pics later tonight.
Also it was a big week for people getting banded! I think it was 4 - so congratulations to everyone! I'm not going to list everyone because I don't go to Blogger at work (I love mobile blogging though) and I'm afraid I would forget someone going by my feeble memory. Anyway, I hope all baby bandsters are doing well - it does get better.
So if a picture tells a story - this one is simple. Last summer Linda was pretty fat, this summer not as much. As you know, I agonized a couple weeks ago about buying a swimsuit I really wanted for this summer. I did buy in it in a 14 and got last week. Now I bought it knowing I would not wear it before May, so while I'm currently a pretty solid 16, I was planning ahead. The package came. I opened it. I saw the beautiful suit and my heart fell. It's too small - the top was little, the bottoms were smaller- no way. I let it sit for a few days and took it upstairs to the secrecy of my bathroom. I would at least try to get it on and see how far away I am from it fitting. Then I could decide if I should send it back for a 16.
I pulled it over my head and the familiar feeling of something I really liked not fitting me started to build up inside me - but wait, it fit! I'm not sure if I've ever really let myself get emotional about my loss because I just want to keep my head down and keep going toward goal, but this did it. I looked in the mirror wearing a bathing suit (with no skirt) and did not avert me eyes, or grab a cover up. I didn't look like Heidi Klum, but I looked pretty good for a 38 year old, middle-of-the- winter, no tan having Mom.
So I made this little promise to myself - on June 5th, my one year bandiversary I am going to sit by the pool in that suit, drink a margarita and be happy. And I will take a picture.
I am certainly as restricted as I want to be, have been .25 cc's tighter than this and was way overfilled so I guess I am in my technical Green Zone. I am going to complain anyway – I have been so hungry the last few days. I know sometimes we are just going to be hungry, but seriously I went to bed with my stomach growling last night. I know that some of this is due to the fact that when I am this tight I tend to eat "fluffier foods" not what I would consider true sliders, because they are healthy, but things that don't stick with me as long. For example I used to eat eggs every morning, but for the last month or so due to morning tightness and laziness I've been eating Zone bars. They are pretty good and not too bad calorically, but apparently when I drink water or coffee 45 minutes later it is washed away. So I know I need to start getting back to more solid proteins – I guess I'm not really complaining, just documenting what I know. Thanks for listening.
Another bit of news going on in our house is that my husband is considering getting the band!?! When we both sucked it up in June of 2008 and took a good look at how we were living and honestly how huge we had both gotten, we both started talking about the band. Knowing that we had a lot to go through to get approved we started dieting and using Daily Plate. Of course the weight started pouring off him and he decided that he would see how he could do alone. He did great and lost about 80 pounds (would like to lose 80-100 more), but has hit a huge plateau for about 4 months now. He is religious about tracking his calories and has increased and decreased them several times, but no movement. I hate to see him struggling and when he brought up the band to me recently I completely understood where he was coming from.
Now here's my mean wife part – I'm a little ticked for a couple reasons: #1 – If he had done this last year we wouldn't have had to pay a dime (mine was covered at 100%), but we were forced to change insurance in January so now the process will definitely cost us thousands. Now I know many people are self pay, so I shouldn't complain, but come on man – think a little! #2 – He has only just begun the process and is constantly asking me what he should be doing (should he call the surgeons? Should he call insurance? Should get my old Dr. info?). I totally feel guilty writing this because if any of you asked me for help I would gladly offer it, but part of me is just like "OK – I had it figure this out and you can too – it takes a lot of time, you have to make a lot of calls, I cried a few times along the way". Of course I will help him and be his biggest cheerleader, but I just had to get that off my chest in a loving environment. Please don't think too badly of me…
I think it will be weird and awesome if he does it because of the built in support and think how low our grocery bills will be!
I hope everyone is doing well – halfway to the weekend!
I am totally excited that TJ nominated me for a beautiful blogger award! Thanks TJ – you are one of my favorite bloggers and always have thought provoking posts. So the rules are below and I’ll try to abide by them.
Here are the rules: • Thank the person who nominated you for this award • Copy the award and post it in your blog • Link to the blog of the person who nominated you • Tell seven interesting things about yourself • Nominate seven bloggers • Post links to the blogs of your nominees
7 Interesting (Random?) Facts:
I am the youngest of 4 children. My 1 bother and 2 sisters are 10,9 & 8 years older respectively. It was hard when I was a kid because I was like an only child in a way, but the age thing gets better as everyone gets older. Although my older sisters still think I’m spoiled…
I went to CulinarySchool after college (history major) and that’s where I met my husband. Food (working in the food industry) is my true love and I’m looking to get back in this year. I left after my daughter was born because the position I had then was so demanding. The funny thing is the years I worked as a chef and catering manger were the most stable weight wise.
During one job I had as a chef I was invited to be on a team to cook at the James Beard House in New York. It was a huge honor and I was so young at the time I’m sure if I really appreciated as much as I do now.
During a trip to Ireland, my boyfriend (now husband) had to almost physically stop me from taking the train from Dublin to Bray so I wouldn’t stalk Bono (he had a castle/house there at the time). Kind of wish I had done it now.
I have a huge fear of bridges and can not drive over them. I don’t remember being this way when I first drove, but it’s increased over the years.
I loving reading and when I have a new book I can’t sleep until I’m finished it. I also love trashy US Weekly/In Touch Magazines, my husband hates this.
I occasionally see Michael Phelps (Olympic Swimmer) at the Starbucks near my work. I have a little bit of an inappropriate crush on him – I don’t know why.
My Beautiful Blogger Award Nominees:
My nominees are some super bloggers, but I’m trying to avoid those who have already been nominated (except if it’s happened prior to me posting this and I didn’t see it). This was really hard and I'd triple the list if I could, but I won't be a rule breaker.
Brooke – She is an amazing writer and person and has kicked ass with her weight loss.
I think we have a similar sense of humor so she always makes me laugh and think.
Kathi – Her blog just makes me smile because of her love for life. We also started blogging at about same time and I think were among each others first followers. I’m hoping to meet her in person this month!
Tina – I think Tina has been banded the longest of anyone of the blogs I read. I love to read her blog because she is honest about her ups and downs and has lost over a hundred pounds. So inspiring!
Cara – I know Cara’s been nominated, but she is my band sister. We were banded a week apart and she has been a huge support to me (and everyone). She is a great writer and friend!
Alexis - She is doing amazingly well with her weight loss and always has great stories to share. I just found her blog in the last few months, but it's one of my favorites.
Gen - Is always open and entertaining. I love seeing her pictures and progress. I think she makes us all heart the band.
Bandita Senorita - I love the honesty and spirit of her blog. While I've never seen her face I know she is beautiful and charming like her blog. Plus I love the undercover thing.
So I finally got a hair cut that I needed desperately. I almost canceled because the salon I go to is in the city and with all the snow there is no parking, but I really needed it so I went early and prayed for a spot. I went in and told my stylist(who I've gone to for like 12 years) that I'm on a restricted diet and I'm losing hair, so she wasn't surprised when she got a handful of hair when she combed it. I have tons of fine hair, so the loss isn't huge but I do have some thinning around the temples, so we went with more layers around my face and fuller bangs. I like it - I always to a great cut from her so I pretty much just go in and let her do her thing. Here are some views:
I make really pained faces when I take my own picture - I need to practice.
I hope everyone has a great Valentines Day and gets spoiled a little (or spoil yourself).
Uggh - More snow today! I know so many of you are in the same boat, so I'm not going to complain too much, BUT we got over 30 inches on Friday/Saturday and now we're getting 20 more! I am from North Carolina - I live in Maryland- I am not a snow girl. This is too much, even my husband who grew up in Albany, NY is done. Because of all the snow (And other bloggers-Amy,Gen,Angie)I have been swimsuit browsing and looking at beach houses to rent for vacation. My problem is the earliest I would need a suit is late April/Early May, so I have no idea what size to get. It's hard to wrap my head around being under 200 pounds by then( I better be!!) and maybe being a 14 or 12(!). So normally I would wait, but there's a tankini I want from Boden that's almost sold out- so I'm conflicted. BTW - I have a really nice tankini (it has a skirt & halter style top)from Lands End up for grabs if any one wants it (it's a 22), let me know. I am having big skin worries right now too. I have a neck waddle!! I'm using some Philosophy neck cream I had hanging around from a kit that I had, but really?? I hope it works... I'm prepared for stomach skin, but neck waddle- no.
Well I'm working from home today and counting this as my lunch break - so back to work such as it is.
** Blog update** I bought the tankini in brown/pink! Size 14. We'll see what it looks like when I get it.
I just realized today was my 8 month anniversary. After the first few months I kind of stopped counting each month, but it just hit me today. As of this morning I was down 66 pounds which averages to 8.25 pounds a month. Not too shabby. In order to reach 100 pounds off by my 1 year anniversary I would need to lose 8.5 pounds each month for the next 4 months- totally do-able, which is amazing. Even if I don't I'll be happy. I am officially 13 pounds away from 199, so that's my next big one. I'm hoping to get there by mid March.
On the weight loss front, after my plateau at 218-219 for weeks – I have now lost 5.2 pounds in the last two weeks! I have no idea what changed (which is frustrating), but I'm so happy to see that scale move again. So everyone in a plateau funk- things will move again!! I am proof. On a side note during this losing period I have been so cold – last night I was shaking in bed. I've had it happen before, but I think it's so funny because I have a lot of fat on my body for insulation.
Have a great weekend everyone! Everyone with me on the Northern East coast (of the US) be careful in the storm.
It's been awhile since I posted, but I didn't have too much going on. Today I took a personal day from work to get some car stuff done and I had a fill appointment and did some shopping.
The car stuff was boring so I'll start with the fill. I hadn't been since December 29th, and had been feeling pretty good about restriction until I had that cold, got a little bit tighter and liked it. So today I went back and got .50cc's which is a good amount at where I am, but if you remember my unfill drama in December I was at 9.50cc's nicely before I had problems at 9.75 cc's. So now I'm back to 9.50 - I can feel it a bit - which is good. I'm always surprised when I go the Dr. and they make a big deal about how well I'm doing, today the nurse that did my vitals commented that a lot of band patients don't do so well and eat around it. I always feel like telling them "well I guess my blog world is full of superstars because I consider myself average there", but I don't I just say I'm working hard.
So on to shopping - Ann Taylor Loft has 50% off all clearance so I ran in to see what they had. I lucked out because they normally don't carry any pants over 14 in the store, but they had some returned 18 & 16's. So I got 2 pair of pants each about $10 and a few shirts. I also got a $70 down vest at Eddie Bauer for 70% off - so it was $21. I don't think it's the most flattering when you have big boobs, but it's cute. Took a few pictures- the pants are a little tight, but I'll shrink into them. Apparently I never clean the mirrors in my house - sorry!
So has anyone checked out the Lap-Band site (if you have a Lap-Band vs. Realize) recently? I went there today to log my new weight (I have been losing at a good rate down from 219 to 214 since last week).Anyway the site has been redone and it's cool - you have a dashboard now and it tells you how long since surgery, how far you are to goal, how many points your BMI is down (mine's down 11). You should check it out.
We're supposed to get a big snow storm again tomorrow and Saturday - I'm going to make a big pot of lentil soup to keep us warm, so I better get going.
