What does it mean when a blogger stops blogging? It could be a lot of things:
I am busy – yes
I kind of have nothing interesting to write about – yes
I have gained weight – YES!!!!
Ugh, I am so not in a good place. I am frightened to see the scale up for the first time in 2 years, seriously frightened. I am slipping into very old habits. It started probably about a month ago – I have been tight since then. I know it is mostly from stress – work is stressful right now and at home things are OK but we have a big trip to Disney planned at the end of this month then we go right onto Christmas so I am watching money like a hawk. Money (or lack there of) always equals stress.
So I have been tight, but not to the point I wanted to go in to get some fluid removed (yet), but the last 2 weeks have been the worst. I fell into a cycle of eating sliders – popcorn (yes, Jenny Chicago mix too), peanut butter M&M's (protein right), brie (?). The list could go on. I finally got scared straight when I stepped on the scale and saw a 9 pound weight gain. Suddenly I could easily see how people who have WLS put it back on. I do not want to go from a poster girl for band success to statistic.
I decided to have a couple mushie days (healthy mushies) to see if it would help the tightness and it seems to have worked. I've eaten proper dinner 2 nights in a row – a victory. I am trying to be very aware of what's going in my mouth and I'm logging food. This morning I had dropped 2 pounds (I'm sure some of the weight was bloat from sodium) which has helped my mental state.
This really goes back to me (and many of us) learning to deal with weight like thin or normal size people do. If they gain 5 pounds they address it immediately, not when it turns into to 20, 50 or 100. How many times have you rolled your eyes a skinny woman who was dieting to lose 5 pounds and said "bitch please"? The thing is they are right – it's easier for me to deal with this now then when I'm pushing 200 pounds again.
It feels good to write it out and admit I screwed up and acknowledge I'm addressing it. We are lucky to have our bands, they help so much, but it will always be something I have to pay attention to. That's OK.
13 comments:
Oh Linda I know right where you are coming from and I can glad you recognized it and are fixing it. I wish I had done that and not gained all that I did. Even though I know have it all back off more or less, it was maddening!
Stress is hard, it is what makes us eat. We are emotional eaters.
I wish you well, I am sure you will keep it in check and have the 7 additional pounds off in no time!
Thinking of you!
That is one thing I have learned is that no matter where I am in my weight loss life I will always have to be careful and watch what I am doing!
It is something that I thought might change...that I wouldn't be so scale whorish. But I think not.
But the good thing, like you said, is that I won't avoid the scale for years like I did before. Days...but not years!
You'll knock those pounds off quick and if you still feel tight please get a little unfill. Glad to see you blogging!
I think of you every morning when I eat my Chobani!
We need to hire a Boobs Food Police next year. Hire him to stand outside of Garrets and ban us from entering. I'll give him photos of the both of us as Most Wanted.
UGH!
I'm gald you wrote this, I knew I couldn't be the only one. It seems that the futher along we go the easier it is to stop caring every day b/c nothing much changes. But it's so good that you recognized it before it became 15 or 20 or 50 lbs.
AND you blogged about it. THAT's why you ARE a poster child for the band.
Love you!
One day at a time is all we can do. I've been on the same path since Chicago too. 4 pounds up and down...I just gotta get my head back in the game, it's just so hard! You're not alone in this!
"How many times have you rolled your eyes a skinny woman who was dieting to lose 5 pounds and said "bitch please"? The thing is they are right"
SO TRUE!
Keep blogging! We'll help keep you accountable.
I'm glad you brought up how we make fun of skinny people trying to lose a few lbs. I'm guilty of this. But you're absolutely right and I had never thought of it like that before.
Kudos for tackling the 9lb gain and getting back on the wagon rather than waiting for it to become 15 or 20lbs!
Oh babe....I'm sorry you're feeling down. You're exactly right - you know how to fix it before it gets to 10 or 15 or 20 pounds and that means you HAVE changed...so be proud of that. I love you.
Good for you!! This is something that we all have to deal with during maintenance. I've been up about 4 pounds lately, so I had to rein it in and watch what I'm eating. It's so funny that 4 pounds actually makes a difference in how my clothes fit and how I feel -- now I know what those skinny Bs were complaining about!
I'm down one of the 4 now... hoping to get the other 3 off soon. Wow. We have come so SO far. Having the awareness to nip a gain in the bud is a major NSV. Props to you!
You're awesome, and I love your accountability. I've gained a bit and am working to get it off, too. Feel free to text me anytime for motivation if you need to, my number is on the contact list. :)
This post resonates with us all because this can happen to any of us...no exceptions. The great news hear is that you have diagnosed that you have fallen off track and now you're ready to right yourself...with the help and inspiration of all your blogger friends who adore you. FYI...I'm one of them.
I know that feeling .. the only way I know of dealing with it is going back to basics.. focusing on protein and fluids.. you will do fine.. deep breath Linda.. hugs
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